ugh, roommates...

I dont understand.
How can somebody be so self-centered and inconsiderate?
I would never in my wildest dreams think that somebody could be that way.
I would never ever do that to anybody.
I am fed up with this, no more.
I will take care of this, i might not be very nice, but i have to do something.
I do not like being taken advantage of, and its not happening again.
I rarely have arguments with people, but i need to have one.
Ugh, i still just cant understand this.

bad mood, but hopefully getting better

i am in a very very bad mood.

i have had a bad day.

i have a headache.

i slept for three hours, so i probably wont sleep tonight.

im about to go to the REC.

so maybe i'll be able to work out all of the bad frustration.

i sure hope so.

im going with jen and steph.

so maybe i'll be in a better mood.

"if you wanna be my lover..."

gotta love the spice girls.

i know that that is very random.

but im trying to get in a better mood, so why not listen to spice girls? lol.

things to look forward to:

1.no class tomorrow, thank goodness.

me and jen boycott "mr. earth is round's" class when it rains.

there is just no point to going.

he is dumb and has no clue what he's doing.

and honestly i dont want to have to listen to a thirty minute lecture on why its raining outside.

im not even kidding, he does that.

then he will proceed to explain some other stupid subject.

2. i love my second family more than anything, except for my blood family.

they are amazing and the only reason im not severely pissed off right now.

but everythings gonna be ok because i have great things in my life.

be happy be happy... whay is it so hard???

ugh...maybe everything will be better when i go to the REC.

fear

why should i be afraid?

what do i have to be afraid of?

rejection...

but the things that he says, he is just so sweet.

how would he hurt me?

how could he hurt me?

why would he hurt me?

i just dont know what to do...

im just gonna have to have faith.

i have trust issues, yes.

but, this is different, ive never had this to happen to me.

what if he thinks im ugly or not right for him?

hes seen my pics online, so....

i guess that if he doesnt like me, i'll be able to get over it.

ive dont it before.

gotten over heartache.

i know that im young, but i want love.

i want to find it as soon as possible.

i know that sounds weird, but i dont care anymore.

im not ready to get married, unless its fate.

but, if this is THE guy, then who knows?

i hope that everything works out.

which way? i dont know. lol.

im just gonna go with the flow and see what happens.

but i am happy though.

love

"Love is like war... easy to fall in. hard to get out. impossible to forget."

i found this quote in photobucket and it spoke to me. i dont really know why, but its amazing...dont you think? it sums war and love up in one line. many writers and poets have tried to do just that, but they have never been able to...until now. i dont know who coined this phrase first, but whoever did has been the very first person to even begin to understand the meaning of love and war. though some would say that love and war have nothing to do with each other, they do according to this quote. they have a lot in common, they are both frustrating and impowering. they can be sad and depressing. i hope that once i fall in love, if i do, that it will be like this quote says it is. i never want to forget the felling of love because i havr heard that its amazing. i want to fall in love... but i will be patient, as always. =]

my life is amazing

i am so happy.
i dont really know why.
i have some great friends, and im doing well in my classes.
i love the cold weather, and the sun is out today.
im working out almost everyday.
i have a job thats fun, well most of the time.
i have a guy that likes me a lot, but im not telling anyone because, i just want to see how it will work out.
im not stressed out like last semester.
i have time to think.
the only complaint i have is, i wish that i would sleep better at night.
but even thats ok, because ive been having some good dreams lately.
i love all of my rommates so much.
i love my second family too.
i have one more complaint, i miss my family terribly.
i dont get to go home because of work and classes.
but im going to invite them down in a couple of weekends.
i am so blessed with everything that i have going on in my life. thanks GOD. <3

crazy

is everybody going crazy?

i think so.

the world today if full of jealousy hate.
though it might go unnoticed sometimes, we all have these tendicies inside us.

to do the wrong thing, it happens.

but, the thing about life is... we can move past what is normal into something far more difficult.

the difficulty arises when we try to do what is right when all we want to do is wrong.

i listened to a simple plan song for the first time tonight and it got me thinking about whats important in life.

the songs name is crazy.

Peace

I am so happy right now!
My life is full of peace and harmony for once.
I am not worried about anything at the moment.
I can just live.
Its a great feeling!!!
I have a job, its on the weekends, and its really late at night, but i dont really care because its money.
I am so excited.
=]

my idea

i came up with an idea the other day.

first, i will explain what got me thinking.

every thursday, in my english class, we are to write a sort of column that could be used in the newspaper. the minimum length is one page, doublespaced. there is no topic range. when i first heard about this, i was very excited because many times in my life i have wondered what it would be like to be a journalist and now is my chance, but there is one little catch, we have to read them in front of the entire class. i am not a very good public seaker. my heart rate goes up and my adrenaline starts pumping through my body. the sad thing is, i know that its happening, i can feel it. but, i am looking forward to it in a way, because it will be a big challenge, and i love challenges. i take to them really well, even though they sometimes involve things that i am scared to do. it will help me and prepare me for events in the future, so i will do this to the best of my ability.

now, back to the reason on my writing in the first place. my idea. it came to me the day that i learned that i would have to speak in front of everyone. i opened my eyes to my surroundings and i wondered what would happen if i just sat still in a central location and did just that. observe people. what would i see? good or bad? people rushing by without a glance, or people watching whats happening around them?

hopefully, i will see things that impress and surprise me. maybe, somebody throwing away trash in the can where its supposed to be, or somebody being courteous to others. i have hope that it will put my faith back in people. because, i have seen such bad things, i want to see some good. i know that there is good and bad in everyone including myself, but maybe i'll see a little more good.

"One's actions ought to come out of achieved stillness: not to be a mere rushing on."

~D.H. Lawrence

Finding a calling in life...

What is truth?

that is the question that my english 102 professor asked us to answer for homework. the answer can be one to a million words, just as long as we bring something. it doesnt matter what its written on, a napkin, toilet paper...he doesnt care. last night, i found myself trying to answer this question with many words that sounded intelligent together. but, then i realized that the answer, my answer isnt something that has to be explained in many words, only one word will suffice. the answer is my GOD. when i finally realized that, i felt so stupid. here i was, sitting at the same desk i am now, and i was searching for the right answer to the one question that i should know instantly, but instead i chose to look in the wrong places. i felt horrible. i am asked to do bery few things for GOD, and i cant even remember his name as an answer to a question that i have been asked since childhood. my teacher said that he will be open to any answers, any beliefs that we have, but i wonder if he will be as open as he claims. in this class, we will discuss, philosophy, religion, politics...anything. i am so excited for this class. for the first time in my life, the things that i have prepared myself to say, will be used. i grew up knowing GOD to use him in this classroom setting. i am so thrilled and pumped. and i didnt realize this until last night, while i was laying in bed, praying. that all i have studied and prepared for is what i will say in this english 102 class. i hope that everybody in the class is prepared for what i have to bring to the table.

"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and asl why not." -George Bernard Shaw

NOLA

i have just returned from one of the most beautiful places in the world.

but like most things that are beautiful on the outside, it has many scars on the inside.

it has been ripped and torn apart, but it steal remains in tact.

as a sort of beacon of hope that stands in the midst of a hopeless world.

it is full of flavor and stamina.

it is called New Orleans, home of the fleur di' lis, meaning "lacy flowers," refering to the lily.

i have been there once before, but i have never expericed the feel of the city as i have this past week.

i love it, the ancient houses, the liveliness of the french quarter.

the spicy taste of the food.

i love the country life, but the life in New Orleans fascinates me.

i am intrigued by their way of life.

its like time moves fast and slow at the same time there.

i dont really know how to explain it.

its just different, and i happen to enjoy the change.

<3